How Did below Average Children Become the Normal Average?

As parents, we all want our children to thrive and succeed in life. However, in today’s world, filled with technology and conveniences, we often make the mistake of doing everything for them, thinking it will make them happy. But what we fail to realize is that we are actually hindering their development and potential. Our children are sadly paying a high price for our conveniences.

Few months ago, I took my then 15-month-old son to an indoor playground (because – Dubai in June), and I was surprised by how impressed the playground employee was when she saw him holding a child size broom and trying to sweep the floor. His interest in the broom for a good 10 minutes, knowing where and how to use it was something out of the ordinary for her. She called him smart and amazing, but to me, he was just an average toddler doing what he was capable of doing. The same thing was continuously happening when people would see him climbing the stairs holding my hand or seated, eating by himself, using a spoon and a fork and drinking from an open cup before he was 18 months old. Not to mention the number of words in his vocabulary. And again, I didn’t give birth to an extremely advanced alien, but a regular child following normal developmental progress. This got me thinking…

Why Are Basic Skills So Rare among Children Today and Strange to Other People? 

In today’s world, it is becoming increasingly common for children to struggle with basic development skills, and more and more children are facing speech and physical development delays. Speech therapists and physiotherapists have more work than ever. One unsettling trend is that each new generation enrolling in school seems to be slightly weaker than the previous one, according to certain studies. Children born bright and healthy experience setbacks in their development and may be diagnosed with various difficulties or special needs. 

One can’t help but wonder: How did a generation of healthy parents without so many cases of speech and physical delays raise a generation facing so many complex issues? These children do not necessarily possess a genetic predisposition for such difficulties, so what happened?

How Did We Let It Happen? And Why? 

The answer is simple: we are not letting them learn and practice the skills they are capable of. An average 15 month old should have the skills to water the plants, pour liquid or grains from one cup to the other, eat by themselves (as messy as it might get), chew food, drink from an open cup or at least with a straw, wash their hands with help, carry things, put them in/out of containers, say at least 5-10 words etc. Those are not special skills, but basic skills healthy children are capable of at this age. So, why don’t many healthy children have them?

Children are born with a natural curiosity and an absorbing mind. They need to move, communicate with others, learn, and explore to develop their physical and cognitive abilities. But instead of letting them do so, caregivers put them in bouncers, rockers nad swings all day long, give them phones/screens, entertainment they don’t have to work for, and toys that make them passive observers. Some children are even pushed around in strollers until they’re four or five years old!

Changes in lifestyle have led us into an era of very busy parents, and advancements in technology have given us the opportunity to make some things easier for us. With the increase in screen time and sedentary lifestyles, children may not be receiving the necessary opportunities for physical play and social interaction that are crucial for their development.

Furthermore, the fast-paced nature of modern society and the pressure to excel academically may result in limited time for unstructured play and exploration. While parents try to figure out what next course/training to enroll their children in, this lack of free play can hinder the acquisition of essential skills such as problem-solving, creativity, and critical thinking.

Children need to practice their mouth, tongue and jaws, hands and fingers, their legs and entire bodies. They need to communicate, move, walk, explore, push, pull, insert, take out, grasp, spill, wipe, etc. An average child should be able to move a few kilometers a day just by playing, walking, exploring, and doing random things. They don’t need caregivers who do everything for them, entertain them, feed them, push them around in a wagon/stroller so they don’t have to walk and obey their every wish. That is what will eventually make them below average. And if this is the new normal, how did we mess up so badly?! 

If we, as adults, were to copy a child’s every movement and action, we would be dead tired after an hour or two. If we can do the exact same things our child does in a day and not get tired, it means we messed up big time!

What Can We Do to Help Our Children Reach Their Full Potential? 

We need to communicate with them, show them, teach them, guide them, and let them work and practice. We need to read to them, sing, let them move, participate in household chores according to their age and skills, such as taking clothes out of the basket/machine, carrying things, and putting them in/out of containers. We need to let them water the plants, pour liquid or grains from one cup to the other, eat by themselves, chew food, wash their hands, and carry things. We need to give them space for unstructured play, take them outside, let them run, climb, fall. What we don’t need to do is buy them another toy or gadget. Fostering a balanced approach to childhood that values play, physical activity, and social interaction can help ensure that basic skills are cultivated and nurtured.

Of course, it is essential to remember that every child is unique and may develop at their own pace. However, all children’s natural state is to communicate, move, learn, and explore. They need proper guidance and practice to reach their full potential. It’s our responsibility to let them learn and practice basic skills, instead of doing everything for them or giving them different tools that make them passive observers. Only then can we help them become the normal average, and not below average. 

It’s time for a wakeup call!